Living in a new culture calls for new rules and people do things because "it is what one does." Women wear head scarves because "it is what one does" to stay modest. At home is where most women live all day because "it is what one does." Cook, clean, make tea and tend to children because "it is what one does." As a single woman you do not go out alone except to school, the market or to a friend's home because "it is what one does." Men leave the home early and do not come home till almost midnight because "it is what one does."
I however, live outside the norm for the most part. Not out of disrepect for the culture. I try and do as much as I can to be respectful to all individuals I meet. Here are some problems.
You want to go eat some fast food. In America you can go anywhere... here not so much. There are only certain places where a single young woman is allowed. I learned the hard way. I went to a doner restaurant that I went previously with a friend. I thought I would be ok. I sat downstairs where only families and women can sit (only men can sit on the first floor) and took a table. Within ten minutes I had to leave because men were trying to sit with me at my table. That is a very shamful thing to do here. So I can only go to "nice" upscale places where I won't be bothered.
I need to get to the sixth floor of my apartment building. You usually take the elevator right? Well if a man gets in the elevator I must exit and walk up the stairs or wait my turn. You are seemed as an easy girl if you allow a man to ride in the same elevator with you.
I want to sleep in but I have to get up early and leave since my friend needs to go to town and I can't stay in the same apartment with her husband. The neighbors may see that I didn't leave. Oh and if I ride the same bus home with my friend's husband I must act as if I don't know him and walk home alone.
Men are pushy and hit on me and say very disrepectful things. Sometimes it is because I am a foreigner. Other times it may be because I can't speak the language. And unfortunately its because I am an American woman who doesn't know the culture or language and so the men think they can get away with it. Shame on them.
But "it is what one does" in these situations. "It is what one does" is a common response I get to just about any cultural norm.
What is an example of "it is what one does" in your culture?
